Through all of my coaching one of the biggest contributing factors has been the combination of an effective coaching structure and process together with the powerful tools and language patterns from Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP). These two factors have always been a recipe for success.
For those of you unfamiliar with NLP, here’s a brief history:
In the early 1970s, Richard Bandler and John Grinder met whilst working at the University of California. Together they began a process of ‘modelling’ the skills and underlying mental processes of some outstanding therapists. These included Milton Erickson, the famous hypnotherapist, Virgin-a Satir, outstanding in the field of family and relationship therapy, Fritz Perls from the world of Gestalt and others. What they discovered were a number of similarities between all of these ‘experts’ in terms of underpinning beliefs, value sets and behaviours as well as some striking differences, all of which contributed to their success. When Richard and John replicated these in themselves, they discovered that they, too, were able to communicate with a far higher degree of effectiveness. Indeed, when they then taught their students these ‘patterns’ they found that the students, in turn, were also able to make fast and effective improvements.
And so began the process of developing a model that became known world-wide as NLP. Where did that name come from?
Neuro – because all behaviours are triggered at a neurological level (what we see, hear, smell, taste, touch, say and do)
Linguistic – because the words we use indicate our programmes and can also be used to facilitate changes in those programmes of we so choose
Programming – because that’s what we do throughout our lives. We generate ‘programmes’ at an unconscious level.
Thus, NLP is a model for facilitating ethical change in thinking, emotional response and behaviour across all areas of our lives.
Well, NLP may have started with the study of a group of therapists but it wasn’t very long before its applications across the full spectrum of life became very obvious. Leaders were able to communicate and motivate far better; sales people learned how to build ethical and effective relationships with clients and prospects; teachers and trainers began to realise the differences that could be made by adjusting language and behaviour to suit differing earning styles; health care professionals developed an awareness of the power of language in the healing process. I could go on and on.
And COACHES saw the tremendous value of a wide-ranging and highly effective tool kit to add to their skill set.
So, how exactly does COACHING WITH NLP help your clients?
Let’s break a typical coaching process down and explore:
Building coaching relationships
The relationship between the coach and client is the basis for success. Key elements are trust, openness, commitment and motivation. NLP helps at every step here by providing skills for developing relationships. This includes verbal and non-verbal communication (rapport building); ability to ‘read’ the other’s world-view from their language and physiology (sensory awareness and acuity); language skills for building motivation and self-belief n the client (from the Milton and Meta Models). There is also heavy emphasis in my trainings on ethics and ecology – two vital elements in any coaching relationship.
Without a goal to aim for, there is little a coach can do to help their client. In our NLP Coaching programmes, we teach how to set highly effective goals and also how to consider the impact of achieving those goals on every area of the client’s life – family, friends, work and even their community. We also use some outstanding effective techniques and tools for developing a strategy and plan that will help ensure success. Of course, there are also times when a client comes along and says, “well, I don’t actually know what I want and that’s why I’m here.” For those occasions, NLP can be an ideal tool as it can help the coach and client, together, to explore the values, needs, desires and inner motivation of the client in a meaningful and non-directive way.
One of the biggest obstacles to a client’s success is often their own mind set – beliefs that hold them back, attitudes developed over a lifetime and behavioural habits that can derail their success. Our NLP Coaching programmes teach how to use the wide range of patterns, techniques and language skills from NLP in a structured and ethical way in order to facilitate the client in making their own changes based on choice.
Many clients come to coaching with a specific issue or problem that they want help in resolving and they’ve heard that NLP has a ‘thing that’ll fix it.’ These issues can include:
- Relationships in and out of the workplace
- Unuseful habits that they want to change
- Unuseful beliefs that hinder and even block progress
- Managing unuseful emotional responses
- Aversions and fears they may wish to resolve (for example, public speaking is one of the biggest fears worldwide and impacts on a huge number of professionals and their career prospects)
- Building self-confidence
- Effective goal setting and planning
The list is extensive and NLP can help right across the board.
The key is to build a strong and effective partnership between the coaching process and the NLP. Participants in our NLP Executive Coaching programmes learn how to create an effective ‘contract’ between themselves and the client; how to explore the real issues; to develop a coaching programme that will work for the specific client’s needs; to operate an effective and structured process at each session and to use the NLP tool kit in an effective and ethical way.
Yes, one can use NLP outside of coaching and yes, one can use coaching without NLP. Together, they combine to create a very powerful chemistry
End result – success!